7/27/24

how to escape social media without missing out

today i decided that i needed to delete my tumblr due to it basically replacing twitter for me both in terms of time spent mindlessly scrolling on there and causing my mental health to decline. i've been on there since i was 12 so this was another big move for me. i was hesitating for awhile out of fear that i'd miss out on some ev graphics i would need to archive to the other site among other things. then i realized that i had a similar hesitation when i was deleting my other socials (losing friends, not being able to see what the bands i like are doing, missing out on important news, etc.) and i actually fixed those issues awhile ago. when i realized i could just apply those fixes to this situation, i felt more confident in my decision. i know that there are people out there who are going through this as well, so i might as well tell you how i made my sweet escape.

THE GUIDE

1. if you want to stay up to date on news, bands, or specific pages you like, get an RSS reader! this was a game changer for me when i found out about this. i know that RSS has been a thing for a very long time now, but i never really knew what it did until recently. for those who don't know, you give it a website's xml file and it will have every site you want to keep up with in one place. here is how i found out how to set one up (i use feedbro personally). you can follow specific accounts and even an accounts specific tags on tumblr!


2. if you want any social media alternatives, honestly just make your own website. i know, HTML looks scary, but it really is easier than you think. you can get a website up in a couple of hours with a guide and some graphics you either made yourself or pulled from other places (with permission/credit whenever possible, of course). my links page has a section dedicated to web buidling resources and another for graphics!


• i do not recommend the guide neocities tries to give you, your best bet is the one i just linked and further problems can probably be answered on stack overflow, someone else on neocities, or a forum.


• you can make a site using one of those site builders, but honestly you'll just have a harder time and there's far less customization available.


• neocities isn't the only place where you can host your site, so if you don't like neocities, look around for alternatives. there are plenty of free and paid hosting services out there.


3. forums are also a good alternative to social media. there are plenty out there for all sorts of broad or niche topics. if you've been around neocities, you may have heard of melonland, which is geared a bit towards people with websites and general indie web enjoyers, but it's also kind of a general forum and it's really chill and nice over there! forums are a lot smaller than social media sites of course, but there are still plenty of people out there to talk to.


• posting on a forum is a bit different than posting on social media. when you're on twitter you don't really expect to have long conversations, so casually posting without much thought or substance is pretty normal on there. forums however, are basically the opposite. you have to post with intention! just saying "hey guys" and nothing else is usually frowned upon (and in a lot of cases, against the rules) because you're cluttering the board with basically nothing. the way i'm wording may sound harsh, but it's pretty much true. there are "forum games" sometimes that people will play and it may seem like they're exactly the type of posts im griping about, but they're there for fun and in some cases to get to know fellow forum members a bit better! some forums may allow them, some may not, and some may have dedicated boards for them.


• i expand on this more in the last post, but make sure you read the rules before signing up and posting on any forum! all forums have different rules and it is your responsibility to read and abide by them! additionally, if you're able to see posts without an account, lurk on there for a little bit to see how others interact with each other and what the general culture of the forum is like. there's a chance you may have to change your tone a bit, or it just might not suit you! if that's the case, find another forum or make one yourself.


4. if you have friends that you want to keep in touch with, give them alternative ways to contact you! discord is probably your best bet (i don't like it but i'm begrudgingly keeping it instead of just sticking with forums because i have a lot of friends on there that i don't want to lose touch with) but if you don't want to deal with that you can also give them your email (or phone number but that's only if you're an really close with them and you are 100000000000% sure that they are who they say they are) (NEVER GIVE OUT YOUR PHONE NUMBER IF YOU'RE NOT AN ADULT). maybe you can even be in a forum together (lots of forums have private messaging)!


• this is not fool-proof and you are almost guaranteed to fall out of touch with at least a few people. sadly, that's the way life is sometimes. i had friends on twitter that i miss but i just don't see them anymore, and that's okay!


5. if you get the urge to go back once you've quit, try to fight that urge! you'll feel weird for a few weeks, but eventually you'll feel a lot better and you probably won't even miss social media at all.


6. fill the endless-scrolling void with hobbies and other things you enjoy/want to try. instead of just migrating to another social site or playing those mind numbing mobile games you always see ads for or scrolling through youtube shorts, do something that engages your brain and/or body instead! if you haven't read a book in ages, go read one! do you draw? play video games? skate? go do that! if you always wanted to try something you've never done before, now is the perfect time to do it (make the damn website already!). don't replace sludge with more sludge, replace it with something you'll feel good about.

if you're anything like me, i know that this will not be an easy task, but it is so worth it. you'll start feeling like a person again and you won't feel like you're wasting your limited time alive. i believe in you!